Like most people, we run across daily conversations (personal and professional) whereas those discussions can go from routine to crucial. Typically, our choice is to either cower or compete. In other words, avoid the situation so not to have to deal with it, perhaps use email as a means to hide and not have to face the individual or situation directly, or just "wing it" and hope everything will work itself out. Recognizing our reactions and emotions in crucial circumstances while using our self-regulation to build a stronger "conversation roadmap" will produce the results we want. A productive and effective conversation happens when you are willing and capable of expressing your thoughts and perhaps unpopular opinions by increasing skills so your openness and honesty will create a more confident and courageous you.
It Begins and Ends with You
- Understand what you are observing and hearing before the reaction
- Analyze the story you are telling yourself - Every story has a "Victim, Villain, and Helpless Character
- Identify how to put feelings first
- Generate a mutually defined measurable set of actions in order to find the win-win
Using Emotional Intelligence as a strength rather than a liability
- Recognize self-awareness when you become emotionally "hijacked"
- Allow self-regulation to produce a more balanced and disciplined set of behaviors
- Use self-motivation as a means to build a personal action plan as to "why" emotional intelligence is vital to your success
- Understand how willingness and effort will create stronger and healthier relationships
Going from Difficult Conversations to a More Neutral Discussion
- Utilize B.I.S.C. to create a mutual beneficial and collaborative outcome
- (B)ehavior or Situation
Handling Crucial Conversations through Conflict Resolution
- Understand how Competing will allow you to get what you want so to assist others
- Understand how Collaboration will produce a win-win outcome
- Understand how Compromise can give each contributor a sense of ease and accomplishment
- Understand how Accommodation will show your willingness to let go and give the other party what they want/need.
- Understand how Avoidance may be the best and only option at that time or during that conversation
- Assess your listening type and preference
- Identify the differences between Listening vs. Hearing
- Understand how comprehension can give you leverage when entering into a difficult conversation